The Scripture reads as follows: "Now large crowds were traveling with him; and he turned and said to them, 'Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not carry the cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not first sit down and estimate the cost, to see whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it will begin to ridicule him, saying, 'This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.' Or what kind, going out to wage war against another king, will not sit down first and consider whether he is able with ten thousand to oppose the one who comes against him with twenty thousand? If he cannot, then, while the other is still far away, he sends a delegation and asks for the terms of peace. So therefore, none of you can become my disciple if you do not give up all your possessions.'"
This is one of the hardest sections of Scripture to take seriously, because it appears to hold a lot in contradiction with both other teachings and with our lifestyles as Christians. First, let's tackle the section about hating our family members. This seems to be especially difficult because in the church in the 20th century, we have upheld family values higher than anything else. If we have any reason to be suspicious of traditional family values, raising the family to the highest unit in our faith, this Scripture is the reason. How can God call us to loving our neighbor but hating our own family?! What kind of God is this, who would have us forsake our own children?!
Well, we know from Scripture that loving others as ourselves is certainly part of the Christian life. So we know for certain that loving our family in a sacrificial way is on track with Christ's calling upon our lives. But in history and human psychology, we tend to put our family above all things. We have the belief that blood runs thicker than water. When Christ tells us to hate our family, he is calling us to reject the notion that blood family relationships are first and foremost in the Kingdom of Heaven. How many times does Christ call people unrelated to him his "brothers"? Many, and for good reason; Christ is redefining the way human relationships work by dissolving traditional family ties in favor of incorporating all of humanity together in a common family. Treating people with privilege because you are related by blood is not compatible with the Gospel; rather, we are called to treat all people around us as brothers and sisters of the same family. This is very difficult because we love our family so much, and with good reason! But when you consider the cost of discipleship, you have to consider this in your calculations. If we claim to be Christian but put our own family well ahead of our brothers and sisters in our community, we are living in sin and need God to forgive us and accept our repentance. It doesn't mean you can't take care of your family members; it means that you are to consider all those around you as your family, with the same love and passion which you offer your spouse, children, parents and siblings. If we were to use this Scripture as a test for how well the church is doing in the world, we would receive a failing grade for sure.
Next, it is so often in the church in the world today that we encourage people to become Christian and join the church without preparing them for the road to discipleship that is difficult and incredibly costly. It's far too easy for people to "get saved" only to live their lives as usual, with no strings attached, with a ticket to heaven in hand. Being a Christian is not something that we add to our lives in order to have eternal security; it is something that provokes us to give up our entire lives, our own identities, for the sake of God's Kingdom, in this world and the next. Being a Christian is like building a tower; it comes at great cost, and it is unwise to begin building this tower without any real intention to complete it. We claim to be Christians, that we would give our lives over to God, only to take back our promises in an effort to live our lives just as we please. Our agendas take precedence over God's, and we simply use Christianity and God as an effort to pursue those agendas. We are called to have our agendas go unfulfilled so that God's agenda might become a reality in this world. We are called to give up our identities, our selves, everything that we relate to and are, and instead become empty vessels for God's sake, for the redemption of the world and the coming of the Kingdom. And when we share this radical Gospel with the world, we ought to prepare them by giving them the costs up front, so that they know whether or not they'd like to pursue this alternative lifestyle of discipleship.
Simply put, the cost of discipleship is the cross. Christians are called to death--not a fun death, not a happy death, but a painful, sacrificial death, alongside Christ who dies in solidarity with us. This death continues every day, a death to ourselves that leads us away from doing whatever we feel like doing and turns us to prioritize the Kingdom of Heaven in our daily actions. And in this death there is resurrection, a rebirth that confounds the world and all of its research, philosophy and politics. No longer are we prisoners in our own bodies, but rather we are made new creations, people who are unlike ourselves in the flesh, made anew more like Christ with each passing moment. We are not resurrected without Christ; rather, we are resurrected into Christ's own body, and counted as one of God's children. Even though the cost is extremely high, the reward is that we would be with God in a new, profound way, and that we would be with this God for eternity. Eternal life is meaningless if you don't really love God, because you'll have to put up with him forever! People who hate God are not so much "sent" to eternal separation as many have suggested; if anyone hates God, why on earth would they want to spend eternity with him?! The cost of eternity is giving up yourself and living with God on earth for this brief moment; if you don't want to do that for a short time period, then why would you want to do that forever?! I'm convinced that eternal separation only happens when human beings desire for it to be so, because we have decided in this life that we'll give anything to escape God and live for ourselves. And there are plenty of self-proclaimed Christians who spend their whole lives avoiding God's Kingdom in an effort to build their own kingdoms, their own legacies, and avoid the cross at all costs.
When you consider your faith, your Christianity, your life in church, think about the costs again--and see whether you're truly ready to pay the price, to love one another at all costs, to give yourself over fully to the cross, to embrace the death that comes with each day. I encourage you to see that the price is worth a life with our gracious and loving God; but if you don't truly love God, the price will be truly insurmountable, and all will be able to see the unfinished tower of your life.
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